1997

Link to a selection of pictures, Send in yours.

I would like to have a page per year. Can you contribute any stories or pictures? Let me know in which year they belong.

Some other stories have arrived.

Ben's Tale

An Anonymous Tale.

So where is yours?

Stan's Tale

The Forestry Tour of Duty

Oh to the trees, the beautiful, bonny trees of Ireland and Scotland. Oh to the memories of scenic camp sights in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of hard case Jocks, Paddies, Pomes, Kiwis, Aussies and a Frogy, who could regularly be heard saying over the radio, "Mon Ami, I think we have problem, my friend". Yes, the PDG Helicopter Forestry crew were an elite, hardcore group of dedicated professionals, ready to sacrifice life and limb for the cause of 'Spreading the manure' on those beloved trees. Well at least that's what we said whenever we ventured down to the local to sample some of the cultural activities. This was of course an essential duty to be upheld whenever possible. It was a tough job but we were up to the task. There was many a time when I thought I just couldn't have another cool creamy pint of Irelands finest stout. But with a bit of moral support I managed to dig deep and to finish another. It gave me such satisfaction in finishing another job well done.

I managed three tours of duty with the forestry crowd and it supported me through traveling through some awesome places, experiences and culture. However forestry provided all three and they paid me for it. Mind you it wasn't all fun and games. There was many a moment when the pressure of life became a strain. Like the time when Dwane threw a wobbly in the dump when a hopper refused to run, with only a few more loads to go. When he found it was the dirty spark plug he made sure that it never came back. Unfortunately however he didn't have a spare. I was on the other side of the forest and was getting a one way story over the radio, from our pilot, Stevie, who made sure that the situation did not get to him.
"Yeah 'D' what seems to be the problem with that hopper"
Static
"OK then you'll just have to replace it and crack on"
Static
"No more spares. Well clean up the old one and we'll get on with it man"
Static, Static, Static
"Where?"
Static
"In the bushes! What do you mean its in the bush's? You can't find it! Oh for #@*+ ........!!!"
Stevie's radio etiquette was top class. While Stevie failed to see the humorous side of things the rest of the crew didn't miss it.

Things were usually learnt the hard way. For instance;
Never fill up the hydraulic oil tank with the legs down on the Mogie.
Always take the PTO out when driving long distances. This explains why the clutch doesn't work.
Never ask Slatts the meaning to life.
Don't worry if you don't completely understand what Riggy is actually saying.
Remember to put oil into the fuel pumps on occasions.
Always make sure that the handbrake is on when your not in the vehicle and parked on a sloping forecourt next to a car yard.
Don't tie a tonne of fuel to the front of the trailer instead of over the axle.
Don't keep knocking over an Inverness bouncer with three-quarters of a tonne of fertilizer, repeatedly.
Don't use 30 quid's worth on salmon in a fish pie.
Don't swallow Jet A1, it gives you gas.
Always have a spare Stanley knife.
At the Pub you're the pilot.
Never intend to go for a quiet night in Maams Cross, Ireland.
Never fill the hopper until the absolute last possible moment.
Never jump into a helicopter with an open blade Stanley knife in your pocket.
Never comment that the plotter has done nothing all day.
Never ask an Irishman for quick directions.
Safety chains on trailers are a good idea.
When there are sparks in the side mirror and you feel as though you're losing power. Stop.

Every day life went on and stories were added to the history books. The older and supposedly wiser members of the crew were often heard saying. "Well I could see that coming, why didn't you do this..." but every now and then you'd hear "Well that's a new one"

From my three years of PDG Forestry I could write a book of all the mishaps, stuff ups, breakdowns, being lost more than being found, the hardcase locals, the mates, the stout, the barbecues and all the experiences that went with the territory. It's all character building stuff and sure enough there were some characters all right. So I look forward to bumping into those characters again some day and spinning some yarns.
Like; "Do you remember when Riggy took out the side of the caravan, or Stan taking out the side of the caravan, or the time when Mark flipped his caravan and the tow hitch broke on Sean's caravan on the same day". "Yeah that was fate because if it never happened we would have missed out on that great 'lock in' in Mount Melleck"

Stan The Man, NZ 18/10/99

Shane, "Stan the Man" Hancock may be contacted here.

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